life vent...help me plz :(

Life just...really sucks right now. I guess I can't get over my last boyfriend but to be honest I don't think I want to..which sucks cuz I'm sure he's moved on....I mean its been 3 months and even tho we talk daily..lately its only been like one or 2 messages from him and there usually short maybe one or 2 word answers to stuff. He's had 2 gfs since we've broken up...one of them he was making out with the week after we broke up. I kissed a guy a few weeks ago and felt guilty for some reason and told my ex and he flipped out....does that make any sense? He can have 2 different girlfriends and go out partying and stuff but I drink vodka while hanging out with a friend and he says I'm "stealing his schtick" and I kiss a guy on random impulse and he flips the fuck out on me....he does that any time I mention any guy..gets super jealous. I guess it just bugs me cuz he doesn't really have a right to. Have I mentioned yet that he wants me to wait for him to turn 18 so we can be together? I want to...I really do its just...I'm afraid I'm stuck hanging on something...I mean he just turned 17 and he has his life ahead of him and he probably won't even remember the girl he was in love with when he was 16......and it hurts cuz I know people change from when their 16. When I was 16 I thought i'd be with Josh forever and that we'd stay in love or whatever and get married and that everything would be easy, but it wasn't and we aren't and enough about him.....I guess what's really really bugging me is that college seems to have given all my friends this strength and courage and... I still feel like that high school freshman who followed her friends up 3 flights of staairs gus she wasn't paying attention and ended up being late to her first ever high school class. Lately I've been so alone and umm I guess I'm doing this here cuz I can't do it on facebook or to anyone cuz they always seem insanely busy.  Too much is going on and I wish I had somebody to talk to, help me get through all this, and idk tell me everythings gunna be ok......and everything hurts. My parents wanna kick me out if I don't get a job and I'm trying but no ones hiring me and they say I'm not trying and I guess it hurts cuz I'm the adopted daughter...and it makes .me feel like I'm being disowned and thrown away.  My friends getting ready for her first yr of college, my best friend in the entire world has a job and doesnt have time for me, one of my friends just had a baby so she has more than enough to deal with, and ive lost touch with my other friends....we still talk but after being appart for a yr its just awkward.  So that just leaves me sitting at home all day every day apply to jobs, hoping they'll take a chance on me, watching One Tree Hill on netficks, and waiting for around 9pm when my ex usually replies....the sad hing is sometimes I think about ending my pathetic life and I know that bad and wrong but I dunno....my life just sucks...if you can help in any way you can text me at (871) 458-0567 or kik me....usernames the same as it is here just let me know who you are/where I know you from/how I know you